Common Traits of Longevity

What do the longest living people

in the world have in common?

They say that it is the little things that matter most in life.  That is true especially when talking about the secrets of longevity.  Apparently it is the small details of daily living that add up to a healthier and longer life.  That is what the people at National Geographic discovered when they tried to explore the secrets of longevity among various people and cultures.  While looking for the common traits in lifestyle among the longest living people on the planet, they discovered certain similar practices which could be considered a formula to living a longer life. 

There are areas of the planet where people tend to enjoy longevity.  People there reach the age of 100 at extraordinary rates and reach these ages enjoying   amazing health  and strong cognitive capabilities.  The places have been geographically and demographically defined as the Blue Zones.  Blue Zone places like Greece, Nicaragua and Japan can teach the rest of the planet how to live a long and healthy life.  In the book, “The Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer from the People Who’ve Lived the Longest”, Dan Buettner maps out some common traits shared be these groups of people.

Lifestyle of Food

Diet is key to longevity.  Those who live in the Blue Zones share the same foundation in their diets. They all get the bulk of their protein from beans rather than meat.  High consumption of proteins from animal products can increase mortality levels by 70% and greatly increase the risk of getting cancer.  The Blue Zone centenarians eat beans, grains, fresh fruits and vegetables on a daily basis and enjoy small amounts of meat only a couple times a month.  They also drink a little wine daily which brings high levels of polyphenols and antioxidants into their diets. They live much longer than average with just a fraction of the current rate of dementia in their elderly years.

Lifestyle of Motion

People who live to the age of 100 and older are engaged in physical activity throughout their lives.  They don’t actively take part in exercise like per se but their lifestyles are set up so they are constantly in motion either through walking, gardening or doing household chores, mostly without the aid of modern conveniences.  Their daily chores keep them fit because they do them the old fashioned way: walking to the stores instead of driving, kneading bread instead of buying it sliced and packaged, planting, watering and weeding a vegetable garden…. These daily tasks create unconscious physical activity which carried out over a lifetime leads to a fit and healthy body.

                                                                                         

Lifestyle of Purpose

Having a sense of meaning or purpose in your life can add up to 7 years to the average lifespan.  The people living in the Blue Zones focus on family and relationships.  They live with or near their adult aged children and help raise their grandchildren.  They are deeply involved in the daily lives of their family because they all live, work, eat and play together.  Having a deep sense of purpose and involvement with the people you love adds years to a lifespan. 

Lifestyle of Community

Those living in the Blue Zones have a real sense of belonging to their community.  They share a commitment to social network that they have built over a lifetime.  Most live in a village setting with people they grew up with and have known for years.  The concept of being lonely, which can take 8 years off average life expectancy, would be hard for them to understand.  In addition the bulk of the centenarians are involved in a faith based group of some kind. A deep religious faith and connection to other faith based people can add up to a decade in life expectancy.

Taking a lesson from lifestyles found in the Blue Zones and adapting them to our daily lives can be a challenge but is well worth the effort.  Aging cannot be helped but how you live as you age can make an amazing difference in the quantity and quality of the years you enjoy.

www.homeaidhealthcare.com

www.prairiehomeassistedliving.com

Kate McCarthy is Director of Operations for HomeAid Health Care which provides services for the elderly who wish to remain safe and independent at home.  HomeAid is sister company to Prairie Home Assisted Living which has served the physical, spiritual, mental and health needs of their residents since 1999.  Together the two companies provide comprehensive care for the elderly in the Fox Valley area of Wisconsin.

Sources:

“Here are the Secrets to a Long and Healthy Life” by Simon Worrall, National Geographic. April 12, 2015.

“The Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer from the People Who’ve Lived the Longest” by Dan Buettner.

National Geographic, 2009.

“Top Lifestyle Changes for Older Adults to Live a Longer, More Enjoyable Life” by Derek Jones, April 4, 2016.

What you need to know when you are the family Caregiver

Knowing what to expect can make it easier.

Providing care for an elderly loved one feels like the right thing to do.  Often family members grow into the role of Caregiver as their aging parents need more and more help.  A bit of yard work in the fall, help with spring cleaning, driving to doctor appointments and weekly trips to the supermarket are easy to accommodate and most families are happy to have the opportunity to help.   It is when the need for help becomes daily or reaches a point when your elderly loved one isn’t safe living on their own any longer, that families need to make some hard decisions.  Families will often slide into becoming their loved one’s full time Caregiver and then they find themselves providing care for their own young family and their aging parents. 

The Sandwich Generation

A term coined by Carol Abaya in the early 1990’s, the Sandwich Generation describes those in their 50s or 60s who are sandwiched providing care for their aging parents and their adult children and grandchildren. It is a challenging time period for these people as they have demands on their energy and resources from everyone in their family.  Many start out enthusiastic and excited about being able to give back to the one who had raised them, only to become burned out and bitterly disappointed at how their relationships, quality of life and energy levels have been destroyed.

For those who decide to take on the many responsibilities and demands of becoming the Caregiver for their aging loved ones, there are some basic tips which might make providing care easier

Know that you will have to make hard choices

Many don’t realize when they start out as family Caregivers that they are now have taken on the responsibility to make another person’s decisions.  Many times this makes the Caregiver the least favorite person in the family.  Having to decide on an endless list of health care issues, finances and quality of life decisions can be exhausting, but it is often compounded by your loved one not agreeing with what you think is best.  Siblings often add their 2 cents, making basic decisions a multi-leveled negotiation. Many elderly will resist getting input into major decisions believing their independence is being infringed on.  Often they are slow to consider the options and will put making any type of choice permanently on hold.  It is frustrating for those who provide care to be patient and respectful especially when deadlines are looming.

It is wise to have major decisions already determined before they become an issue.  Sit down with your aging loved one and discuss how they want their affairs handled long before they can no longer manage themselves.  Your loved ones can set up directives early which will take the pressure off of you to decide for them later in life.  Life is much easier when medical directives are in place, the will has been made, Power of Attorney for finances and health are set up and end-of-life choices have been decided.

Know that caring for an elderly parent is not like caring for a child

Remember that your aging loved one has lived an entire life before you even came into existence, so treating them as if they were another child is disrespectful and demeaning.  Expect there will be times when their behavior is as stubborn as a toddler’s, but do not respond as you would to a child.  Instead try to find out what is going on and give them the time to discuss their concerns and fears.  Do not expect your loved one to easily adapt to your schedule and ways of doing things.  They are probably pretty set in their ways and have every right to be so.  Also remember that they crave adult interaction and need to be included in your family’s normal life and activities, even if doing so requires a lot of extra effort on your part.  The last thing you want is to have them feel as if their presence is a burden and that they are isolated and lonely and just taking up space in your home.

Know that providing care can be uncomfortably embarrassing

Understand that as your loved ones continue to age, their need for assistance with personal care will increase.  This can cause embarrassment for both generations.  Helping with showering, dressing and toileting can be weird for the adult children of aging parents, but after a few times it will feel less awkward.  Trouble with incontinence and loss of body functions can make everyone cringe and for some it is just easier on relationships to have a professional Caregiver come in a couple times a week to help with personal cares.

Know that providing care will affect your other relationships

Being a Caregiver is a very demanding job.  It requires a servant’s heart at all times and usually without any recognition or thanks.  Most often it is the women in the family who take on this role in addition to all their other duties and responsibilities.  Being stretched to the limit, the family Caregiver will find relationships on all sides bearing the brunt of frustrations, exhaustion and weariness. Interaction between the aging parents and adult children can become strained, as well relationships with everyone else in the family.  People often imagine having multiple generations under the same roof will be wonderful, especially for the younger children.  They fail to realize that the aging have limited tolerance for noise and commotion and would prefer some space from the younger members of the family. 

Know that doctors are interested in prolonging life, not the quality of life

Doctors will be a primary source of information and help as your loved one’s health needs increase.  They are kind, caring and committed to your loved one’s well being, but their main concern is dealing with the physical concerns that prolong life.   This most likely will result in more and more prescriptions for medications, endless office visits and lots of tests.  As the family Caregiver, your job will be to facilitate the doctor orders, to manage the medications and interface between physicians.   It will fall on you to become your loved one’s advocate for health care concerns.  Yet your primary concern should be about making the final years and months comfortable and enjoyable.  Most elderly are far more concerned about quality of life over longevity and if often falls on the family Caregiver to ensure the quality of life through social interaction, conversation, easy projects and just being there to listen. 

Know that you will need help

Being a family Caregiver can be difficult and stressful, especially when providing care for an aging loved one is sandwiched in with all the other demands of life.  While in the midst of providing care, life can get so busy that it is difficult to see the toll that it takes on your energy, relationships and family.  Most families eventually realize that they need help.  Finding a professional Caregiver to come into the home a couple times a week makes an enormous difference.  Respite Care is another option that allows family Caregiver to get away and unwind. 

Families often naively believe that they can provide care for their aging loved ones with minimal stress or stain on their lives.  Since the end goal is enjoying a close and loving relationship with their aging loved ones, knowing what to expect can make it easier to avoid stressful problems for the entire family. 

www.homeaidhealthcare.com

www.prairiehomeassistedliving.com

Kate McCarthy is Director of Operations for HomeAid Health Care which provides services for the elderly who wish to remain safe and independent at home.  HomeAid is sister company to Prairie Home Assisted Living which has served the physical, spiritual, mental and health needs of their residents since 1999.  Together the two companies provide comprehensive care for the elderly in the Fox Valley area of Wisconsin.

Interdependence with aging parents

Family dynamics can really be challenged as aging parents 

need more help from their adult children.

The relationship dynamics of family drastically shift over time.  Children, once dependent on their parents, grow and mature to adults.  Parents grow too and eventually reach an age where they need to depend more upon their adult children. This tends to cause a considerable amount of stress and anxiety for all involved.  On average more than half of elderly over 85 need help with their daily life.  It would seem natural that family would provide much of the care their elderly loved ones need. Yet many elderly and their adult children have difficulties finding a working balance between independence and providing care. 

Independence is a deeply ingrained part of the American psyche.  It is revered just as dependency is looked down upon.  Many older Americans refuse to accept help, even from their adult children for fear of being dependent and a burden. Yet this deprives the elderly of needed assistance that promotes longevity and health as well as the opportunity for grown children to care for the ones who once cared and provided for them. 

Most societies across the globe care for their aged within the family and only turn to outside caregivers in cases where medical issues demand it.  In other cultures, generations of families co-exist, often in the same home, providing support and care for each family member as needed.

The multi-generational American family could greatly benefit from becoming more interdependent.   But to achieve interdependence in a healthy way, families must rise above some common hindrances.

Filial maturity 

Adult children need to accept their parents as individuals, recognizing their personal needs and goals and accept their imperfections as well as positive qualities.  Filial maturity means relating to and supporting aging parents in an adult way and requires understanding, patience and respect of their stage in life.

Parental maturity

Elderly parents need to accept their adult children as adults.  They need to rise above deep-rooted attitudes of being in control and graciously accept help from the younger generation.

Acknowledge loss

Both elderly parents and adult children need to come to terms with the loss that is part of aging. The elderly experience many losses. The loss of status, health, financial security, spouse and friends can cause despair and needs to be recognized by the family. The children of an elder experience a sense of loss too, as the parents they once knew and depended upon progresses through the aging process.  Recognizing that loss as part of the circle of life instead of battling against it can help ease the transitions as relationships with in the family continue to change.

Mixed expectations

The elderly and their adult children often have different agendas of what is important and requires assistance. The adult children worry about practical cares and safety issues.  They see help with bathing, food preparation and the prevention of falls as important.  Where the elderly are more interested in getting help with bureaucratic issues like managing health care or financial paperwork and can take offence at being offered help with daily needs.  Having different agendas causes stress and can result in misunderstandings, anger and hurt feelings.  When the elder parents and the adult children openly communicate their concerns and expectations there is a much better chance at a smooth relationships.

Avoid role reversal

Assisting a parent with bathing and dressing or taking over their decision making roles can be uncomfortable for both generations.  Elderly often resent and resist being treated as a child and adult children miss having their parents be parents.  A role reversal is not easy or healthy for either generation.  There are times when the adult children will have to make difficult decisions on behalf of their parents, but in general it is best to keep family roles intact. The elderly, no matter how frail, should maintain control of their own decisions as long as possible and the adult children need to respect their parent’s desires.

Bring in help 

Hire a home health Caregiver to provide services for your elderly parents at home. An extra pair of helping hands will take care of the daily tasks and intimate cares that often cause conflict between the generations. Getting help inside the home works to maintain healthy boundaries and relationships in the family and can make a world of difference in having healthy interdependence with aging parents.

www.homeaidhealthcare.com

www.prairiehomeassistedliving.com

Kate McCarthy is Director of Operations for HomeAid Health Care which provides services for the elderly who wish to remain safe and independent at home.  HomeAid is sister company to Prairie Home Assisted Living which has served the physical, spiritual, mental and health needs of their residents since 1999.  Together the two companies provide comprehensive care for the elderly in the Fox Valley of Wisconsin.

Sources:

“As Parents Age, Family Will Have Role Reversal” by Dr. David Lipschitz. Retrieved from www.creators.com, 10/15/12.

“Building Positive Relationships”, Texas A&M Agrilife Extensions Service. Retrieved from www.fcs.tamu.edu.com, 10/15/12.

 “’Parenting” Your Elderly Parents’ by Family Caregiver Alliance. Retrieved from www.familycaregiveralliance.com, 10/15/12.

What Love Language Does Your Elderly Parent Speak?

Know how to express love so your elderly parent can receive it.

What Love Language does your elderly parent speak?

There has been a lot of talk about understanding different ways of communicating love since Gary Chapman came out with his book, “Five Love Languages.”  Dr. Chapman’s concept is that people generally have a primary and preferred way of expressing and comprehending love.  Knowing how your loved one perceives love is important to getting your love message across so it is actually received. 

Take that idea and apply it to relationships between grown children and their aging parents.  Typically as parents age there tends to be a lot of strain on their relationships with their adult children.  The aging parent may feel embarrassed, depressed or frustrated by having to depend on their children for assistance and care.  Grown children often experience a sense of loss as they see a parent age and become frail.  Caregiving demands coupled with the role reversal of parent and child all cause relationship tension.  It can be very helpful to understand how to communicate love and affection to an elderly parent that transcends even the most trying of circumstances.

What are the 5 Love Languages?

Words of Affirmation - This language uses words to affirm people.  Some elderly parents need to hear the words, “I love you,” as well as other verbal reassurances of appreciation and encouragement.  Seniors who crave words of love will not get the message just through gifts, hugs and time spent together.  They need to actually hear kind and encouraging words.  Verbal cues are important, so negative words, comments or a sharp tone of voice will hurt deeply and need to be avoided.

   

Quality Time - This language is all about giving the other person your undivided and focused attention. An aging parent who prefers this mode of receiving love wants time together, without distractions. Turn off the phone and the TV and spend real time together talking. Maintain eye contact and focus on actively listening. Your loved one will feel truly special and loved.

       

    
                                                            

Receiving Gifts - For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.This does not mean that your loved one is out to gather up material positions, but rather they appreciate the thought behind the gift, whether it is large or small, expensive or free. Gift giving shows you put effort into knowing your loved one’s tastes and desires.  Careful though, missing a birthday or anniversary or giving a thoughtless gift can be disastrous to the one who values this gesture of love.

Acts of Service - For these people actions speak louder than words. Commonly the love language of men and caregivers, this expression of love seeks to please by serving. Aging parents who speak this language of love will understand the dedication and assistance as acts of love and will be especially appreciative for the help. Broken promises or laziness will be interpreted as their desires do not matter.

Physical Touch – For some people, physical touch is how love is expressed. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands all show concern, care and love. Elderly often suffer from not being touched enough and so respond gratefully to any demonstration of physical tenderness from their grown children. Neglect to touch or rough handling would be considered unforgivable, so gentle hands go a long way in expressing love.

How to recognize your aging parent’s love language: We all use a mix of these love languages in our relationships, but according to Dr. Chapman there is one dominant form of love expression that most will gravitate towards.  To understand your aging parent’s preferred love language, think back to how they related to you during childhood for clues.  If mom was quick with a hug and a kiss, then she may be a speaker of the Love Language of Physical Touch.  If dad rarely said, “I love you,” but spent a lot of time playing ball with you, he might best respond to the Love Language of Quality Time.  Once identified, knowing which love language your aging parent responds to can be used to strengthen your relationship as well as make the sometimes difficult transitions of aging a little easier.  www.homeaidhealthcare.com www.prairiehomeassistedliving.com Sources:  “The 5 Love Languages Explained” Taken from www.thepersonalitycafe.com on 3/21/13. “The 5 Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapmen. www.5lovelanguages.com on 3/21/13.