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| A natural part of the slowing of advanced age is spending time in reflection
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Ever try to help an elder cross the street or reach out to steady a senior descending the stairs. Most
likely you won’t be thanked for your trouble.
Many seniors will show a bit of temper when treated as frail or in need
of help. Today’s seniors are enjoying
life to the fullest and don’t wish to be reminded that old age is encroaching
on them. So when a person reaches
advanced years and transitions into being truly elderly, there are often some
difficulties with adapting to the next stage of life.
There are four
psychological phases that the aging naturally go through as they make the
transition from being a senior to being elderly. These stages are 1) Slowing; 2) Life Review;
3) Transmission; and 4) Letting Go. Working
through each stage is important for the emotional well-being of the aging. Even though it can be difficult to go through
each phase, avoiding or denying the process may result in anxiety, anger and
bitterness at end of life.
Being aware of the
common characteristics of each stage is very helpful for the aging and their
families. For those facing advanced age,
it is helpful to recognize the signs of transition rather than be thrown for an
emotional loop as life begins to change.
For families, knowing what to expect is important as it is often those
closest to the aging that must help their loved ones go through each stage.
2)
Life Review
A natural response
to the slowing down of advanced age is spending time in reflection of one’s
life. This review covers everything from
a lifetime of memories and experiences to re-evaluating past and present
relationships to re-assessing conflicts that remain unresolved. For most elderly, it is the understanding
that time is now limited that prompts them to shift through their life story and
come to terms with its impact and value.
For many of advanced
age there is a sense of urgency to work through this review process. They may feel alarmed that time is passing
and they have not yet made sense of what their life has meant. As they take stock of their past, many
elderly also look to the future to consider what they will do with the time
that remains. This is a time of
introspection which needs to be aided by family and friends.
The telling of
stories from an elder’s past is one way the aging sort through their memories
and pass on their perceptions and experiences.
The passing on of their stories and the knowledge and wisdom they have
gained, is how the elderly work out the meaning and value of their lives. For people of advanced age, the sharing of
their history helps in finding the grand meaning in their existence and aids in
accepting their mortality. These stories
and pearls of wisdom are considered valuable and so family and friends need
to really listen and respect the gift their elder is giving with them. They need to recognize that they are not just
listening to old stories, but receiving the legacy of a life as well as
assisting their loved one in his work of life review.
It is often
difficult for elders with memory issues to complete this stage of the aging
transition. They become stuck in the
task of evaluating life and grow distressed at not being able to make sense of
their existence. Yet even for those with
cognitive limitations a life review is possible with patient assistance and an
accepting environment.
Being able to face
mortality and move on without anxiety is the goal of life review. Many elderly need help in focusing on the
positive aspects of life as they go through the life review transition. Family
and friends play an important role in providing the encouragement and support
necessary to move through this transition.
Yet ultimately it is the work of the elderly to go through this review
and move on to the next phase of their life.
It takes great courage to come to terms one’s life and learn to accept
it without regrets.
Kate McCarthy is Director of Operations for HomeAid Health
Care which provides services for the elderly who wish to remain safe and
independent at home. HomeAid is sister
company to Prairie Home Assisted Living which has served the physical, spiritual,
mental and health needs of their residents since 1999. Together the two companies provide
comprehensive care for the elderly in the Fox Valley.
